St Augustin

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.
Who lives sees much, who travels sees more.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

All your questions about Australia answered (with thanks to Tourism Australia)

I am re-posting this as I've just re-opened my travel site and this post cracks me up. If you need a laugh, here's a bit of Aussie humour. Don't we all have bags of misconceptions about other countries? This may be a bit exaggerated, but it is a hoot...well, if you know any Aussies, you'll know it's not really THAT exaggerated, lol! It actually comes from REAL questions sent to the Tourism Australia website.


Q: Does it ever get windy  in Australia ? I have never seen it  rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around  watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk  from Perth to Sydney - can  I follow the  railroad tracks? ( Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you  send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)

 A: What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure,  the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

 A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I  forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather

Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first


Cruella Collett said...

Hahaha, oh, this gave me a good laugh. Being Norwegian I particularly liked that Sweden was included on this list...

L'Aussie said...

Yes, Cruella, it cracks me up. Is there a bit of rivalry between Norway and Sweden? Every Australian state jibes each other. Thanks for following..:)

Theres just life said...

This is great, and I need a good laugh. I live in Texas and when I went to Germany everyone keep asking if I knew JR, what did my ranch look like and how many oil wells do I own. I told them... Yes he lives next door to my Uncle...It's called Oklahoma there are pictures posted on the internet...Oh, I don't know I lost count when I reached 500.

L'Aussie said...

Ha ha. Just shows how little we know about each other's cultures..:)Thanks for following.

Shelly said...


This sure stimulates my brains for QCS on Tue!!!!